Man, I’d really love to run into (insert store here), then the mental battle in my mind begins. I am constantly torn between my desire to run errands against the unpleasant reality of the amount of effort it actually takes to leave the house with two small children. Moms of multiples can definitely relate to this sentiment. I took for granted how “simple” it was taking just my son on errands, and that was with a child who absolutely despised his car seat, or any form of restraint for that matter. Still, it pales in comparison to the experience of taking two kids out of the house.
I have recently developed a witty, but accurate 10 step “process” to successfully leave the house.
Step 1: Guzzle coffee or some kind of caffeinated stimulant before preparing to leave the house.
Step 2: Pack ALL THE THINGS—seriously, you can never have enough. I’m talking outfits for both kids, snacks, drinks, outfit for you, blankets, toys. Anything your children can’t live without.
Step 3: Never, and I repeat never announce to the toddler that you are going anywhere unless you are absolutely ready to walk out the door—they will run, repeat where you’re going incessantly and follow you around, or in my case—even try and leave the house at that very moment…always announce “We’re going to the playground literally 2 seconds before leaving…
Step 4: Check weather & get everyone dressed…this step is particularly complicated if you live in a state like Georgia with bipolar weather where you have to dress for all 4 seasons in a single day..
Step 5: Bribes—give the toddler a bribe in order to get them dressed and to distract them while you complete the other necessary steps…
Step 6: Make sure baby is fed and dressed…
Step 7: Get toddler in car with toys…
Step 8: Get baby in car and pop pacifier in mouth…
Step 9: Throw some clothes on yourself that don’t smell like vomit…
Step 10: Get in car ASAP before someone poops, pees, spits up, or screams…that’s the tricky part, because heaven forbid–if one of those actions occured, that would involve starting the process all over again!
Good luck mama’s!